Jeremy and I got into our upteenth millionth fight about Mikaela the other night and it got me wandering what the whole step parent side was like.
The life of a step parent must be a constant high wire routine. Walking the fine line between parent and step-parent. If Jeremy over disciplines Mikaela it can be construed as cold and unfeeling because she is not "his." Whereas if he doesn't step into discipline she will feel she can walk all over him because " well he's not my real dad so what can he do." It must be extremely difficult for Jeremy considering Mikaela isn't the easiest child to get along with or understand at times.
I think about when we first met and I told him that I had an 8 year old. He did what I thought he would and he said ok no problem, if he only knew what that really entailed. Within the first few months he was helping me get ready for dance recitals and birthdays and school plays.....not exactly what a bachelor has in mind for weekend activities. But he stuck with it. He poured love upon her and it just made me love him that much more.
Although, Jeremy fell in love with me he always understood and welcomed the fact that I was a prepackaged deal with Mikaela. I know that he loves her with all his heart and if Mikaela had been the only child we had he would have been thrilled. Over the past four years I've watched them grow closer. Each day I see their love, respect, and understanding blossom between with. Having a loving wonderful husband has meant so much to me but having a loving wonderful father to my little girl has meant the world and more to me!!
I don't think that it has ever dawned on me how difficult it must be to be a "step-parent." I mean just the name makes it sound difficult. "Step." I don't have any idea what it would be like to have to justify or think through each and every parenting decision just there is no question as to your intentions. It is often so trying for Jeremy to balance his time with Hannah ( his beautiful baby) and Mikaela, my amazing daughter. Jeremy more so than me has to be sure to balance his time with the two girls just so it is obvious to Mikaela and me that his love is equal for our girls.
I think about when we first met and I told him that I had an 8 year old. He did what I thought he would and he said ok no problem, if he only knew what that really entailed. Within the first few months he was helping me get ready for dance recitals and birthdays and school plays.....not exactly what a bachelor has in mind for weekend activities. But he stuck with it. He poured love upon her and it just made me love him that much more.
Although, Jeremy fell in love with me he always understood and welcomed the fact that I was a prepackaged deal with Mikaela. I know that he loves her with all his heart and if Mikaela had been the only child we had he would have been thrilled. Over the past four years I've watched them grow closer. Each day I see their love, respect, and understanding blossom between with. Having a loving wonderful husband has meant so much to me but having a loving wonderful father to my little girl has meant the world and more to me!!
Having had stepparents, I know that it can sometimes be a difficult and touchy relationship. It can be frustrating on both sides, but as long as the intentions stay the same it will all end up well. My stepmother and I are now super close. I cannot imaging her not being in my life. Jeremy seems like a great guy and I am sure that he and Mikeala will continue to grow closer. You have a great family, I really wish the best for you guys!
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