It Begins

So I am starting this blog in an attempt to keep everyone up to date on our daily activities as well as give me a chance to vent, elate, celebrate, cry or express any other emotional breakdown or rise up that I have.

Jeremy and I will have our 4 year anniversary of our first date on Halloween. It's crazy the amount of things that have happened over the past four years.....

I left my job and life of 10 years at Scooters. I know that most people agree that leaving that place was long overdo but it was still a big loss for me. I had put my blood, sweat, tears and my soul into building those places into successful profitable business and they were. I sacrificed so much for those bars and as I am spending time each day with Hannah, I realize more and more exactly how much of Mikaela's life I missed out on because I was working so hard. I know that because I worked so hard Mikaela went to private schools and attended a well established dance studio but seeing Hannah do those little things makes me really sad sometimes. I know that given my situation I would have never stayed at home with her and I would have always missed something but knowing how Scooters was like another child that took me away from her makes me sad that I just walked away from it never to know what would become of it. Ok that is enough of that.

What else has changed in the past four years. WE GOT MARRIED!!!! After 10 years in a completely loveless, emotionless relationship I found my true soul mate on October 31, 2005. He understands and puts up with my insecurities, he loves me even when I'm not being very loving, and he will never ever make me feel like less than I am. I feel like I waited my entire life for him to find me and that all the people that I met along the way or things that happened to me were God giving me reminders for when I met him of how lucky I really am to have him. I worry every now and then that everything moved so fast between us that he never really had the chance to the chaos that is my life but then he tells me he loves me and that everyday he is happier that we are married. In the 3 short years that we've been married we've been tested so much; Mikaela ( she could test the strongest of marriages), a miscarriage, Hannah, and another lost baby....plus moving twice, changing jobs and buying a home it's a miracle at times that one of us hasn't watched a crime show and gotten an idea of what to do next.

NEXT....we moved, a couple of times. First to DC, the regrouping period. I really just needed an escape from my life in Dallas. Out of all 6 of us I was last that I thought would end up back with my parents but there I was at 30 with a 9 year old and fiance knocking at my parents door. It was time we needed though to establish our family. We got married, Mikaela got to really know my folks and we made life long friends....so a good move. But then the reality of DC cost of living kicked in so we moved, again. Off to Houston we went. Jeremy got back into teaching, his music, and really being himself. I think that when we were in Virginia he just put so much of himself to the back bunner so I could grow, Houston really made him comfortable again. We bought a beautiful big home and Mikaela made wonderful friends.

FINALLY....WE HAD HANNAHBEAR. Having worked in order to live most of Mikaela's life I had almost forgotten the indescribale joy that comes from the unconditional love of a baby. When I had Mikaela I was alone, so I put every ounce of love inside me into loving her. I never knew the joy of having someone want to love your baby that much too. Having a baby with the man I love is exactly how it's supposed to be. I am lucky that we live in an area of the country that is cheap and I am able to stay at home with her. She amazes everyday with how much she learns and grows. Being here to hear about the daily dramas of a 7th grader has been amazing too.

Okay so that's the last four years, looking towards the next forty all I see is cake :)